Poem 259

Self-image and other people’s expectations driving us to leave our comfort zone, even our safety zone …

( I like the sharkish and sharklike, the singing in my teeth sends me back to that sensation, and body made of memory is nice … )

Overdoing It

Five minutes on the park today with James
and I'm stuffed lungs dragging down sulphur
instead of air
metallic saliva flooding my mouth

I think of my father sitting sick
head hanging down in the changing rooms
of the hot pools
after my uncle challenged him to a race
                                                                          there was 
something sharkish about the way he suggested it
sharklike too how he was halfway 
back by the time my father groped for the end
swanning gently smiling
not content to make more money
to have done better at school
gone further in the army
not content
to be the younger brother

I feel the singing in my teeth tonight
of overdoing it see my father launching off the tiles
his body made of memory

I couldn't understand why my mother was so angry
so scathing
but wasn't it her young husband
the supple boy she met at a dance
we all watched drown?